How to communicate in difficult conversations

punch

Difficult conversations are never any fun.  It’s so hard to

  • Tell someone something disappointing
  • Resolve communication issues
  • Discuss unpleasant topics

What makes these conversations so difficult?  Challenges include:

  • Discouraging a team-member
  • Offending someone
  • Disappointing a leader

but there’s a simple way to express what you need to discuss with a simple technique that doesn’t offend and doesn’t cause a battle.

See Think Feel Want

When we’re in a group, I hear some inappropriate jokes about a co-worker.  I think that people don’t recognize that some of the comments could be taken offensively.  When I heard that, I feel really uncomfortable.  I want you to follow up with those individuals to remind them that’s inappropriate.

What I really like about this technique is that using these four words encourages safe phrasing of a difficult conversation.  It’s hard to argue what people see opposed to a statement that people are doing.  No one can blame someone for thinking or feeling.  Finally, hard conversations could be misinterpreted as complaining if you’re not clear up-front about what you want.

star25Apply this effectively

Break down difficult conversations into four parts: See, Think, Feel, Want.

TOPICS